since i was young i've always knew what i want to do in the future, i've always thought i want to study art.
well, until now, which is exactly when i have to make my decision.
great.

i've been very stressed for the past few days, not only now knowing what i want to study but also where i want to go (though that actually comes later)

i have two choices of major in mind: art and humanities and publishing or psychology and education and social studies (and stuff)
the thing is...i hate studying art (and writing) but i love doing art (and writing), and i really enjoy psychology class but i don't think i wanna work as a psychologist and such.

and i also have two choices of place as well: great britain or new zealand.
i actually going for england for so, so long.
well, until my sister is moving to new zealand.
new zealand is cheaper and easier to live in or to get a job after i graduate (and also has a better weather!) , but despite all that, i wanna go to england. i can't wait to roam the street and get to know europe and have all my freedom with (rather expensive) trains.
oh, the other important thing is that i'll miss my sister. i already miss her.

HELP!!!!!!!!!

all i want now is someone who'd hug me and listen to me saying all the negative, pessimistic, hopeless shit and understand me even though nothing makes sense.
and just hug me when i cry.
and just hug me,
and say 'i understand'
and keep hugging me.

actually, i know what i have to do when i don't know what to do with my life. i know it well. i've talked to a lot of people and ask for many suggestions. maybe i'm just not ready or i'm afraid or whatever.

now i just wanna collapse on someone shoulder, cry my heart out, lying down on the floor and be insecure...
before i stand up and start walking again,

faster, stronger

better than before.