I had never seen Antonio as a (stereo)typical Italian guy, let alone Southern Italian which somewhat would have an even stronger ‘Italian-ness’ (if that’s even a word) Originally from Calabria, he had, more or less, been brought up in Bologna and only spent a few years of high school in the region where his family was from.

Before leaving Bologna, I was told how traditional and conservative people in the village could be. It was seen as a norm to marry someone from the same village and such. I found it hard to believe, especially when I see him as this ultra open-minded person he was.

But what he said was true. Saline was a small village and it reminded me a little of my hometown in Thailand. Every knew each other and old people sat outside in front of their houses at night, talking. Big birthday celebrations, the importance of your family.

I wasn’t quite sure what I expected before I got there, but certainly not something as traditional as this. This place was like an authentic village, where locals and only locals lived, an mostly old people.

And I saw the other side of my boyfriend, something similar to who I would become when I go back home to my family.

In Bologna, he had it all in control; his place, his space, his kitchen, his life. He was a grown-man taking care of other people in the house.


Here in Saline, I saw him as a brother, as a son, as a grandson. He let his guard down, and he was more like when he was with me with other people around here too. His smile was sweeter, his laugh seemed happier, more genuine. He let other people take care of him, look after him. He would call his dad to check in when we went out hiking. He was more relaxed here, and I loved seeing that.

Though how conservative and religious people from there were surprised me a little. It would not have registered in my mind if he had not told me that by bringing a girl home, it would indicate that you two would be getting married. In that case, it’s expected that you bring her around ad introduce her to your whole extended family.

Otherwise no one would be really that interested in you. Well, you are not planning to get married and become a part of the family, so why bother?

Basically there were two types of relationship there, the one for fun and the one for life, nothing in-between. Although he did explained to his dad later what we were, and how I was important to him.

Learning about all these things, about where he grew up, about his background, his past, and a part of his childhood, it made me want to share mine with him too.